Seeking Rest: Introduction

Welcome back to the beginning of a brand-new series, one that has been heavy on my heart since the end of the semester. I feel as if I start every series the same way, but truly, this blog is full of topics that have come from my own experiences, passions, and curiosities as I navigate life as a Christian in this generation. While my notes app is full of studies, topics, and ideas to write about, I instead find that a series will simply come to me as I walk through life, learning how to handle changes and expanding my own perspective on life. This blog was centered on topical studies through Scriptural passages while I was in high school, at a depth where I spent an entire day taking notes and scribbling down countless trains of thought before even beginning to write a draft of a post. This is because my senior year gave me plenty of time to do so. Course work was relatively light, and once I finished my last season of tennis, my days consisted of school, work, lifting, and having endless hours of time for myself. One of my favorite series that I have ever done was during this time, where I really looked into the different churches we see in the New Testament, especially the ones that Paul wrote letters to that became part of the Christian canon. It was so helpful to understand the deeper contexts of these letters, to help me grasp concepts and ideas that otherwise seemed random.

However, I have found myself in a very different place since then, with my routine and schedule a seemingly total turnaround than my high school self had. I have big dreams and lofty aspirations, and as amazing as it is, it means that I have really shifted what I do on this platform. I no longer have hours of time to dedicate to yet another academic endeavor, and so I had to be realistic in understanding that I had to shift what I was used to on this platform. While I still want the Lord to be a part of everything I talk about, even if it isn’t inherently “spiritual” in nature, I have recently written from a more personal perspective, using my own experiences as a baseline to share what I have been learning and how it is slowly expanding my own views and understandings. It is less analytical, and now resembles a journal in more ways than before.

While I know that it was a wise decision to lean into the other priorities I have in my life, I have missed the amount of time that I spent in my Bible that was separate from morning readings and sitting in a church pew. There is something about reading Scripture out of pure interest, separate from any Bible reading plan or guided series that brings a depth in my understanding of what it looks like to walk with God, and I’ve missed it. I hope that this series challenges me to chase that again, to return to a habit that brought me so much peace and encouraged me to really question things that I blindly believed growing up.

Last Semester

While I am a proud student at heart, and have had a true love for learning since I can remember, this last semester of college was a challenge for me. Growing up I was always (and still am) the kid that read every single book we had in class, took notes on every chapter textbook, and studied like mad for every exam. A lot of that stems from this love of learning, as well as my perfectionist tendencies that I believe came from being in gifted classes since kindergarten. Skipping out on assignments not only seemed unethical, but had absolutely no appeal to someone like me that was intrigued with almost every topic I encountered. Yes, you can call me a nerd if you want; it’s a title that used to feel shameful when I heard it, but I have grown to love once I became comfortable with how God made me.

This is great, but once I began losing sleep every night in order to finish assignments, getting up ridiculously early to finish a chapter for class or get an extra hour of studying in before a big test, a few other motivations came to light, and they weren’t so lovely.

While there was a part of me that does truly enjoy learning, and believes that hard work is better than using SparkNotes or finding Quizlet answer keys, a part of me had subconsciously begun to believe that my worth was tied to my works. I never outright said or thought it, but I believed that I had to reach a certain level of productivity to be enough. As an eldest daughter with a type A personality that grew up in gifted classes, this has always been an issue, but I finally had to face it this semester. It got to a point where my day would be defined by how many things I checked off of my to-do list, and if I took a day off from homework and other responsibilities, I felt essentially useless. While it is easy to say that my worth is found in Christ alone, it is another thing to live that out every single day. This semester has taught me that it is hard for me to believe that my day had value when I chose to rest, investing in hobbies and friendships and spending time with God. While it does not make my question my inherent value, it does cause me to constantly question whether I am existing at max productivity, and anything less is unacceptable. Missing a run, not getting an A on an exam, or eating meals that didn’t have balanced macros were all failures, and I never allowed myself any exceptions, even if I was sick or had something big going on.

I ultimately realized that this was a problem when I looked at it from a Christian perspective. It is so easy to get wrapped up in the world, especially when my social media feed is full of successful business men and women that post what a day in their life looks like when they make six figures a year while maintaining a healthy diet and exercise plan. The world loves to hurry, to the point where we’ve somehow made it a competition to see who can be the busiest, the most successful, and ultimately, the most exhausted. The problem is that nowhere in the Bible are we called to live like that. One of my most quoted pieces of Scripture completely counteracts this hustle culture, showing that our works aren’t what defines any part of us. Ephesians 2:8-9 says that “for by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: not of works, lest any man should boast.“ That verse was a wake-up call for me, and I knew that something had to change. The problem is, I don’t know where to start.

Looking Ahead

With this, I decided that I wanted to look into what true, Biblical rest looks like, to learn how to get rid of a works-based mindset while still being a hardworking student with integrity and passion. I plan on diving into Scripture to see God’s design for rest and how different individuals in the Bible navigate this. After all, God did design us for work, but it’s not the way modern American culture does it. I want to look into Sabbath, and how we can live it out while being immersed in a culture that tells you rest is for the weak and unsuccessful. In addition, I am going to go a bit more into my own struggles with rest and feeling like I have to be productive at all times, to really pull the curtain back on my own motivations for writing this. Truly, this series is intended for me to learn, and to report all of my findings back to you as an opportunity to join me in learning how to live the way that the Lord designed. And of course, I absolutely love practical applications, and so I hope to learn tips and habits that can be implemented to reframe our mindset. This is truly a series that I am doing for my own growth, and of course, I always love to share these things with you all so that you can walk through these things with me.