Welcome back to Authentic Faith! For those of you that know me personally, you know that I just recently got back from a Christian summer camp, where I worked as a counselor for nine weeks. I don’t even know where to begin, because this has been a roller coaster, but a good one. This summer, I met so many amazing people, got to bring so many young girls closer to Christ, and was challenged in all aspects of my faith. There were many challenging days, where I was physically exhausted, catching sickness, or selfishly wanting to have time to myself instead of being with kids 24/7. However, there were so many amazing days: I have made genuine connections with many of my campers, tried so many fun new things, and have had countless beautiful conversations with the other staff members. It is amazing to see how God uses a fun place to make campers feel safe and loved, and I am so grateful that He gave me a front-row seat to see the beautiful minds and hearts of all of the girls that walked into Cabin 12.
I’ve been dying to write this ever since I started camp, but once I finally sat down to tell of everything that happened this summer, I had absolutely no idea where to start. Then, I remembered that I wrote a blog post right before I had left for camp, and I became curious to see what my thoughts were going into this summer. I would encourage you to read it here, because it really gives a full perspective of how God has worked in my heart in these last two months.
In this post, I detailed all of the fears that I had coming into the summer, and reading it back, I was shocked, because it gave me proof of how good God has been in providing for me in the midst of my fears, and it was evidence of His deliverance from my anxieties I had about serving this summer as a counselor. Reading this back, I became inspired to recap this summer by detailing how God has provided for me at camp, because He is the one who was moving mountains in the hearts of these girls, not me.
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The first fear that I had dealt with was a camper getting seriously injured. This fear had set in when I was training for camp, and had to learn what to do in countless medical emergencies. I learned how to perform CPR, help somebody that is choking, and use lots of various first aid equipment. I am grateful that the camp requires this training, because I know how important it is and how it could save lives, but this training gave me the intense fear of a camper being seriously injured. I was terrified that I would have to stay calm in a situation where a girl’s life was in danger, and was nervous that I wouldn’t remember what to do, or that I wouldn’t be an effective leader. I remember how scared I was, and how desperately I didn’t want any of these girls to get hurt, because I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to give them the help they needed.
So, this summer, I prayed relentlessly over the girls. I prayed over their health and safety every night before going to bed, and I remember asking God that He would get all of the girls in my cabin to make it through the week, without having to send anyone home for medical issues. Miraculously, he protected all 120 girls that came through the cabin while I was there, and even though we had many little scrapes and bruises, each girl was able to spend a full week at a place where they felt loved and cared for. I remember a few girls that I was worried about, because they came into camp physically struggling, but the Lord kept them safe, and I know that those girls were all personally impacted by their week at camp.
The second fear that I dealt with was me doing my job wrong. I have never been a counselor before, and I was afraid that I wouldn’t be able to connect with the girls or that I wouldn’t be the counselor that they needed me to be.
However, I think the greatest thing is that this happened, and a lot. I remember times where I was selfish, whether it was laying down instead of interacting with them, or making them go to bed early instead of taking the time to dig deeper into Scripture with them. I also remember times where I was angry, annoyed, or tired, and let it affect how I loved the girls. This definitely humbled me, but I’m grateful that this summer showed my weaknesses, because it gave me even more confidence that God was the only one moving mountains this summer. Even though I messed up, and I can recall moments where I didn’t do what I should have done, it pushed me to really rely on God. I recall that the moments where I struggled the most were the moments where I learned how to fully surrender myself and my own weakness to God’s power and His plan. I was reminded this summer of a verse that describes how God can use our imperfections, mistakes, and obstacles for His glory. “And he said unto me, ‘My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness.’” (2 Corinthians 12:9a). If I’m being honest, I don’t understand how God can use my weaknesses and make it good, but I have learned to trust, and accept the fact that I probably won’t understand.
Finally, my third and biggest fear that I dealt with before camp was the fear of loneliness. I was honestly terrified that I would go through the entire summer without a close friend, and that I would go on this journey all on my own. And, oh boy, was I wrong!
From the first day of staff training to leaving the staff banquet on the last night, I have felt nothing but love from the people around me. I made so many beautiful connections with other girls around the camp, and have been able to spend the summer with them, even if most of it was through quick interactions on our way to the next thing. I remember having so many laughs with friends during activities, and making silly jokes on our way to our breaks.
One fear that God totally took away from me was that I wouldn’t really connect with my co-counselors all that much. The staff members that live in my cabin are the ones that I would be seeing day in and day out, so I knew that if we didn’t have a good connection, it would be difficult to lead a cabin together. However, the Lord made my co counselors and support staff the biggest blessing that I could have ever asked for. When I found out who I was going to live in Cabin 12 with, I was ecstatic. The girls that were in my cabin as support staff were amazing influences in our cabin, and did an amazing job at loving on the girls every moment they saw them, and were always there for me when I needed help. I have had so many amazing conversations, and I truly feel so loved when I am around them. In addition, my co counselors were the greatest blessing that I could have ever asked for. All three of them were loving, supportive, and allowed me to rest my body and my mind when I needed it. I learned so much from them, whether it was connecting with the girls, effectively leading in love, or putting Christ in the center of all that they do. I look up to them all, and am so grateful that God put them into my life as people I can learn from and do life with.
I think that the moments from camp that I value the most are the conversations that we had every night. After we turned the cabin lights off and put the girls to bed, all five of us would go to the small cabin bathroom and talk. We shared the beautiful conversations that we had with the girls, who we connected with, and what we think we can do to help them have a better week. In addition, we all became vulnerable about our own life, sharing our own blessings, struggles, and circumstances. Even though we were all tired and wanted to go to bed, staying up to have those real life talks is what bonded us all closer together. Whether we had a great day or a tough day, I always loved that I was able to share it with them and be heard, and I was so grateful that the people in my life trusted me enough to talk with me about anything and everything. This is what truly made me love the people in my cabin, and how I got to see their heart amidst all of the camp chaos.
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There is so much more I could share about camp, and I might talk more about all that God has taught me in the future, but I feel like it was a beautiful full-circle moment for me to see how God has delivered me from all of my fears, and has really changed the way that I interact with other people. Now that camp is over, I am already missing what I was blessed to do this summer. Even though there were many difficult moments, I was so blessed to have a community of people constantly there for me and lifting me up at all times. This has not been an easy journey, but it has been so cool to see how God works in the minds of so many girls, and how He can use broken people to show the Lord’s character.
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