Authentic Life Update: A Summer of Serving

I have been excited to write about this ever since the summer began, and this is truthfully because I have been in such awe of what the Lord has done in and through me this last summer. As some of you know, I worked at a Christian summer camp last year, and loved it so much that I decided to do it again this summer, alongside my church’s sports camp. In the span of two months, I have experienced growth in some of the most beautiful ways, including intimacy in my relationship with the Lord, good Godly friendships that push me to sanctification, affirmation in my spiritual callings, and even countless physical and mental trials. This combination made for a wild summer, where there was truly never a dull moment, but I mean it when I say that I wouldn’t have it any other way. I can’t wait to share with you guys what I have been up to recently, to be transparent about the recent steps in my walk with Christ and to have this amazing platform to share all that I have been learning.

Finding my calling

Growing up, I never really knew what I wanted to do with my life. It seemed like all of my friends had specific talents or passions that would translate perfectly to a career, and watching them all pursue these dreams made me feel isolated. Sure, I had some talents, and had strengths of my own, but I didn’t know how I could make any of these a career that I would love doing for the rest of my life. It made me anxious to think about my future, simply because I had no idea what it is that I wanted to do. Even when I first picked a major when I graduated from high school, I quickly realized that this wasn’t at all my passion, and so switching to an undecided major was a total step in humility for me. I had to accept that I didn’t know where God was taking me, and it was scary to walk in such uncertainty. It was difficult to go through the process of figuring out what I was even interested in, but after prayer and consideration, I chose to major in business management, and minor in communications. I shared this story in my last Authentic Life Update, so if you’re curious about this part of my journey, I’d encourage you to read it here. Whenever people asked me what it is I wanted to do with a business major, I would tell them that my passion rested in working for a nonprofit or Christian organization that needed someone detail-oriented and relational to help them in their mission for Christ. However, I knew that I still needed to do some digging in my own heart, as well as the heart of God, to see what else He had in store for me.

These were all of the thoughts that were swirling in my head as I finished my freshman year of college and started preparing to return to another summer of camp. In contrast to the previous summer, where I was unaware and scared of what camp life was like, I couldn’t wait to step back into the life that I love so much. My mission was to help lead and encourage all of the first-year staff whose shoes I was in the year before, and to be a source of light to them as they learn how to do one of the most difficult, yet rewarding, jobs in the world. That month, I put post-it notes all over my house, all saying the same thing; “Lord, fill my cup so that I can pour into others. Amen”. This was my constant prayer, knowing that if I was about to pour into so many cups, staff and campers alike, I would need to come into the summer with an intimate connection with God.

While the journey of preparation was rougher than I’d like to admit, I was filled with joy during staff training to have these opportunities to meet so many new people and help them in their uncertainty of what this summer at camp held. It came so naturally for me to extend a hand to others, and to help them with their anxious thoughts and worries about all that they would be facing this summer. It was honestly surprising how much I loved getting to lead in this way, and how many of these opportunities God gave me to be able to love.

After a fulfilling week of staff training, I was beyond excited for the campers to start coming. While I still had some worries of my own about what the summer would hold, I knew how much joy it brought me to serve as a counselor. Getting my first week of campers was like jumping back into routine. I honestly surprised myself at how easily I got back into it, so much so that being a counselor was one of the most natural things I’ve ever done in my life. Whether it was singing repeat after me songs on the way to our next activity, teaching the campers how to make friendship bracelets, or getting to have a one-on-one where we tackled really deep and important questions about faith, it felt like nothing else. All I could think is that I was made for this. It was a deeper feeling than just doing something that I liked. No, it had too much gravity. It was an understanding that the Lord had created me for just a place like this, for such as time as this. Even though there were difficult moments, times where I was pushed and challenged, camp felt like home.

What really stuck out to me, though, was the words that fellow staff members were speaking into my life. All throughout my testimony, words have had a tremendous impact on me, whether it be my history with writing and speaking, needing people to show me words of love so I know they care, or even my infamous ability to talk for hours upon hours. This is a trend that I am noticing has only grown over time, as the words of those that I trust have been a source of guidance and love. I began hearing consistent confirmation of what I had already believed, that camp was something that I was made for. These affirmations in my calling aren’t important to me because it was an ego boost, or because I want people to tell me how great I am at what I do. Instead, this was so important because it was only deepening the belief that I had that this is what the Lord made me for. When other people begin calling out your gifts and talents, this is when you know you need to dig deeper in it, and find out why exactly God has given these abilities to you.

Because of all that this summer has brought in terms of finding my calling, I want to invest this next school year in deepening this, and using my major to find out what career path the Lord wants me to serve in. While I know I might not have my picture-perfect career plan immediately at the time of my graduation, I want to take that next step in obedience, and trust that He will guide the next step I take into the unknown.

The difficulty of serving

Unfortunately, though, this summer was far from perfect. Camp by nature is an all-consuming job, not only in the amount of time you have to invest but also because of the sheer amount of energy that goes into what we do. I am consistently on the clock from Sunday-Friday, and Saturdays are purely my time to rest my body and prepare for whatever the next week holds. This means that I have to be hyper-aware of my physical health, especially when it comes to getting rest. Even though everything that I do at camp is life-giving and exciting, it also drains you, and your body can only do so much before needing rest. As the summer went on, my body gradually became weaker and weaker, and by my last week at summer camp, some unknown sickness was creeping up on me. Growing up in gifted classes, I have the unfortunate mindset that I can do absolutely everything, which is a center of pride that I have been working through for a while now. So, I thought that I could keep pressing on at camp, and the sickness would somehow go away on its own. As we all know, though, this rarely works out in our favor. My body kept getting weaker and weaker, to the point where I couldn’t keep up with my campers or provide the energy that is needed to help run the cabin.

After a lot of struggle, and too many attempts to simply keep pushing through it, I had to make the difficult decision to go home. It was heartbreaking to leave my campers, who I had already bonded with so strongly, and I absolutely hated having to tell them that I was leaving for a while to get better. It definitely knocked my pride down, and driving home that night felt like I was admitting defeat. However, I discovered that I actually had sicknesses that were beyond simply taking a day of rest, and after getting the medicine that I need, as well as a day or two of rest, I was ecstatic to get to come back for the last few days of the week. While I still wasn’t functioning as well as I was at the beginning of the summer, I had a renewed sense of why I do what I do, and this is truly all that carried me through the last night of camp.

This difficult week taught me a lot about myself. I am very aware of my prideful nature, but things like this show me just how strong of a grip my pride has on me. The fact that I was unwilling to accept help and believed that I could get through it on my own really showed me what I thought of myself, and what I thought of the God that I serve. I had to learn, too late, that there were people at camp willing and ready to step up for my cabin so that I was able to leave and give my body what it needed to stay healthy and safe. Not accepting this help was a way of asserting a level of independence that God has never called us to.

Intimacy with Christ

I want to make this section brief, not because I don’t have much to say but because I know I could talk about this for far too long. Camp is where I discovered and understood what intimacy with Christ meant, where I found time away from the world to simply invest in my relationship with Him. Naturally, this is easier at camp than out in the dreaded “real world”, as being a counselor naturally comes with opportunities to be with the Lord in worship, prayer, and service. This summer, I spent a lot of time at the hammocks, meditating on Scriptures and allowing it to seep into my work with the campers. I want to share a few of the verses that I used this summer to guide me through my trials at camp, whether it be dealing with campers, finding the strength to endure, or remembering why I do what I do.

“I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service.” (Romans 12:1)

“The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.” (James 5:16)

“And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not unto men.” (Colossians 3:23)

“Do all things without murmurings or disputings: that ye may be blameless and harmless, the sons of God, without rebuke, in the midst of a crooked and perverse nation, among whom ye shine as lights in the world; holding forth the word of life, that I may rejoice in the day of Christ, that I have not run in vain, neither laboured in vain.” (Philippians 2:14-16)

With the help of these Scriptures, I have learned more about what meditation on Scripture looks like, and how to let it impact my faith journey as a counselor. There were times where I had to pull away from the busy nature of the day to open my Bible, and just take another look at one of these Scriptures. This helped me center my heart on what is true, lovely, and pure, like Philippians 4:8 says, and really helped me in different situations I encountered. Now, I am working on memorizing these verses, among with other ones I am discovering. Now that I have a renewed understanding of the importance of having Scripture to help you throughout your day, I am learning how to hide more of God’s words to help me in time of need.

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If any of my talk about camp interests you, and you think you might want to see what serving in this way is like, I would absolutely love to talk to you about it! This experience has been one of the most impactful I have ever encountered, not only in growing my own faith and reliance on the Father, but also in sharing my faith with others and finding a ministry that brings fulfillment and purpose to my life. And, as always, thank you again and again for your support for this passion of mine. This blog has been such a blessing for the last three years of my life, and I don’t know where I would be without people like you all that have faithfully walked through these journeys in life with me.