As a high school senior, these next few months are very important. Between applying to scholarships, choosing a college, and keeping on track with graduation, there is a lot going on. And this isn’t even counting all the dances, banquets, concerts, and other sentimental senior events. It can be a lot of fun to count the days to the end of one season and the beginning of the next, but it is also very easy to get lost in the stress that comes with the start of something new as big as post-graduation plans. For me, I have spent the last few months very focused on being able to pay for college. I have a goal of graduating college debt-free, which I know will be hard, but this is something that I am willing to work hard for.
Recently, I had an amazing opportunity to compete for a full-tuition scholarship for my top college. Although the weeks leading up to this event were filled with anxiety, I worked hard and felt like I did my absolute best. I was very confident in my performance, and knew that I had gotten it. When I found out that I was not selected to receive the scholarship, I broke down immediately. All the confidence that I had in my abilities was shattered, and all I could think was that “I was so sure that I had it”. I felt let down, crushed, and hopeless by seeing such a great opportunity get shut in my face, especially after I was so prideful in my abilities.
At that moment, I faced a major disappointment. I had worked so hard for something, and prayed over it for weeks, and yet I still didn’t get it. Receiving this scholarship would have been a huge blessing, and I would have eliminated a big obstacle in going to this particular college, so it was hard to realize that I wasn’t done fighting yet.
That day, I also experienced myself doubting God’s plan for my life. I spent the rest of that day wondering what was next, because I didn’t understand what God was trying to tell me. I had no idea if this was God telling me that He didn’t want me to go there, or just Him saying that I need to keep working hard on scholarships, and that He would financially provide in another way. I didn’t see God’s plan for me at the moment, and it scared me.
God’s plan
I believe that, in one way or another, everybody can relate to me in this. We have all faced times of disappointment where we did not get what we worked for, or didn’t receive what we had hoped to get. Whether it was a job, a good grade, a title, or a relationship, we have all felt let down by our circumstances, and even from God. This can happen for a lot of different reasons, but it usually is rooted in the fact that your plan for your life wasn’t what God had in store for you. Oftentimes, we make plans for what we want for ourselves, and don’t stop to ask God to be the one to lead our paths and make our plans. In the end, we know that God’s plan is better, but it often doesn’t comfort us in moments of sadness and fear.
I saw a picture once that really helped me understand what this means. In the picture, there is a little girl holding a teddy bear, and she is standing in front of Jesus. Jesus is asking her to give her the teddy bear, but the girl is refusing to let go. What she doesn’t see, though, is that Jesus is holding a bigger and better teddy bear behind him. In our perspective, Jesus is asking us to give Him our plans and hopes for our lives, and we can’t see just yet what His plans are. Instead, we need to have faith that God has something better for us than we could ever have imagined or planned on our own.
Not only is God able to provide bigger and better things than you can reach on your own, but often, He is saving us from future hurt. When we make goals and plans for our lives, we don’t understand all of the repercussions of what we want, and don’t see how it affects our future and the futures of those around us. When we surrender our plans to God, He will give us a better plan, while also protecting us from the plans that we thought would be good for us.
Think about past times where God has redirected your life. Maybe you ended up going to a different college than the one you wanted, or you had to get another career than what you were aiming to get. I’m betting that those moments were hard, because it felt like life wasn’t going the way you had planned it. However, there are so many beautiful things that come out of those experiences. Because of that college, you could have met your lifelong friends, or found a new major that you were passionate about. That different career could have helped you provide for your family better, or would be a stepping stone to a greater career path. These are things that God can see, but we can’t know of beforehand.
This is why it is so important for us to trust God in times of disappointment. He knows more than we do, and He loves us so much that He will provide for us better than we can.
“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” (Jeremiah 29:11)
If you are facing a disappointment in your life, or are struggling to understand how God’s plan will ever actually work out, let yourself rest in the fact that you are surrendering your plans to a Creator who is loving, powerful, and all-knowing.
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