I feel like most of these authentic life updates come on me really suddenly. My blog timeline is doing pretty well, and I am on track with getting posts up, and all of a sudden, something big pops up and immediately makes me switch gears. Sometimes, it is a realization that I had, and sometimes it is an event that really makes me think.
For this one, the event was going to the Eras Tour movie. For those of you who don’t know, the music artist Taylor Swift has been on her Eras Tour, which is a pretty big deal all around the world. So popular, in fact, that the tour has been documented and turned into a movie! As a Taylor Swift fan, I went with some of the girls on my tennis team to go see the movie. It was so fun, because we all dressed up in fun outfits and had a blast dancing and singing along in the movie theater (and yes, it was legal! I promise).
However, I was quickly convicted that night. We were only on the second song of the night when my mood switched from ecstatic and upbeat to guilty and sorrowful.
Idolization in joy
It was strange how my mood switched: after all, I was dancing along to a good song with my friends…what’s wrong with that? It wasn’t the fact that I was at the theater, and there was nothing “ungodly” with my dancing, so what was it?
I had realized that the reason I had felt this way was because the Holy Spirit was convicting me. (Side note: it is always interesting when God answers prayers. All week I had been asking for the Holy Spirit to convict me when I was going off track, and I did big time!). In that theater, I was feeling on top of the world. I had the biggest smile on my face, and felt ecstatic. The part that hurt was when I realized that this was slowly becoming an idol. After all, when was the last time I had worshiped the Lord with that kind of joy?
At that moment, what I was doing almost felt silly: I was passionately screaming lyrics to fun songs, yet Sunday morning worship feels like such a hassle some days! Taylor is very talented in her songwriting, but she didn’t die for my sins! It had become so much easier to find joy in something man made than the One who had saved my soul and freed me. How bizarre!
I never saw myself as an idolater of any person; sure, I had my favorite music artists, and actors that I loved, but my justification was that other people were a lot worse than I was with that, so I was fine. In reality, idolizing someone or something isn’t like a scale: we don’t need to be “really bad” with something, otherwise we’re fine. Idolatry is simply putting anything before God, as I have written about before. The fact that I was finding more joy in this concert than in even just ten minutes of worship on a Sunday morning made me realize that it is a lot easier to idolize things than we think.
How to deal with idols
After my conviction, I felt really guilty staying there and enjoying the concert like I had been. I felt unsettled, and I knew that I had to talk to God about it. It was really awkward, but I left the theater that my friends and I were in, and stood outside the door and prayed. I thanked the Lord for the fun day I was having with my friends, and then brought the idol into the light. I told God how I had become more joyful in music of the world than I had in worship. I repented, and asked Him to help fix my heart to be set on Him.
Afterwards, I felt much more at peace. Now that I had recognized that I was putting something before God, I could find out how to pull myself away from that. I debated leaving the theater altogether, but took a minute to logically weigh my options. I could still enjoy the movie, because being there and singing and dancing wasn’t the problem. I simply needed to fix my heart attitude, and learn that you can find joy in the Lord while still finding other things fun or exciting. So, I joined my friends in the theater, and spent the rest of the night dancing, singing, and having fun with my friends. It was a great night, and I made some really special memories with them that day.
I did feel a lot different after spending time with God, though, because it taught me how to deal with idols. Sometimes, the thing you are idolizing is inherently sinful, and it is something that you need to stop doing or get away from, with the most common examples being sexual impurity or drinking. In addition, if you are struggling so badly with the thing, even if it isn’t inherently sinful, sometimes space is what you need to help. In my case, though, I learned that what I needed was to change the way I approach things. I had fun at the concert, but I was much more joyful in the fact that God had blessed me with a fun day like that.
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Now, I know that struggling with idols can look very different for some people, but this is what God has taught me in the last few days concerning idols. Some idols are sinful in themself, and some only become sin when you put them before the Lord in your life. There are different ways to deal with it, depending on your circumstances, but the Lord will guide you and show you how to work through it. “No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.” (1 Corinthians 10:13).
Personally, I learned that Taylor Swift has been my idol recently. It’s not that I think she is perfect, or a god, but my idolatry came from joy. I found more joy in her music than in worship, which meant that I was not drawing the joy in my life through my Savior. What I plan on doing is taking some time away from all secular music and spending more time in silence instead, similar to what I did in Idolatry and My Week Without Music. This is giving me more time to pray, and allowing me to have more time talking to God, and finding joy solely in Him once again. I have been doing this for about a week now, and it is already helping me. It is always tough to discover that you have been idolizing something, but I am grateful for God’s grace in helping me work through it.
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