Destroying the Body of Christ: Selfishness

In the past year or so, I have come to the strange realization that I am in the most self-centered season of my life. I know it sounds strange, but bear with me. I am currently a college student, which means that the purpose of these four years of my life is to prepare for my future career. Between taking classes, networking, and planning my career path, I am in a space in which everything I do is supposed to be focused on my own life. This starkly contrasts ideas of marriage and parenthood, in which you are constantly looking to the needs of someone else first, sacrificing what you want to love others.

I remember how weird it felt when it first hit me. A few weeks into my freshman year, I realized that all the ways that I normally serve my family, mainly through cooking and cleaning, were all of a sudden things I never had to deal with. All the meals were made for me in the school’s cafeteria, and all I had to do after eating was put my dishes into a bin that did all the work for me. All I had to clean were my dorm room and my bathroom, and even then, it’s a single room. I quickly began to feel useless, because all my normal ways of serving were taken away from me in this environment. Because I didn’t know how to serve others, I felt really guilty for living this typical college lifestyle, knowing that my family still had all the same duties, but I couldn’t help out with it like I used to.

The reality

This is just one example, but the more I looked at the routine of any college student, I realized how self-centered in nature it is. Don’t get me wrong, there is absolutely value in seeking higher education, and taking classes to prepare for a career is important, even necessary in some cases. However, it quickly puts young adults in a position where they are used to catering their schedule and their lives around what will fulfill their own selves, quickly forgetting what it looks like to give our lives away. Even at a Christian school, I noticed these patterns, and once I saw it, I couldn’t unsee it. Whether it was a worship night, an event sanctioned by our activities board, or even getting dinner with friends, our motivations for going to these things are solely based on what will satisfy our immediate desires.

The reality is, this is the way that the world functions. The worldly influences around us are always prioritizing doing what makes you happy, and encouraging you to spend your time doing things that satisfy yourself. We are constantly told to put ourselves first, and put all of your extra time into your own hobbies, self-care, and personal investment. While none of these things are necessarily bad on their own, it becomes dangerous when all we are interested in doing is fulfilling our own wants. I have learned that this is an isolating frame of mind, because when every person in a community is just focused on themselves, we naturally become separated from others and find weakness in doing anything else.

Unfortunately, this is something that we see leaking into Christian culture. Even though we see constant commands in Scripture to lay down our lives for others, I struggle to see this practically in routines. How often are we really sacrificing our time, effort, gifts, and even our money to love others and show them the true, unconditional love of Christ that has been shown to us through Jesus’ life? This is especially geared towards those of you that are in the same stage of life as me, navigating the relatively selfish experience that is college. If we continue to go through our college experience chasing nothing but our own accreditation, achievement, or comfort, we will graduate with a degree, but without a heart that is actively chasing after the Lord. I know firsthand how easy of a trap it is to fall into the idea that “I’ll do it later”, because college by nature is also busy, hectic, and unexpected. However, we can’t allow our education or this lifestyle to become priority over the God that has redeemed us. No, something has to change.

Our calling to selflessness

In order to distinguish ourselves from this isolating culture of self-centered living, we as the united body of Christ need to recognize our calling to a selfless lifestyle. We see this played out consistently in Scripture, but I believe that it is described concisely and straightforwardly in the book of Philippians with this:

“Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves. Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others.“ Philippians 2:3-4

Breaking this down, we see not just the actions that we are called to, but also the heart motive behind it all. The direct command that we are given is to let nothing that we do be done with the purpose of bringing glory to ourselves, but instead find others so much better than ourselves that our first instinct is to serve them. I want to be careful with the word “better”, because it doesn’t mean that we should find ourselves to be of lesser value than other people. This all traces back to the skewed view of humility that I see all too often. I heard one particular definition of humility that has stuck with me years later, and I find that it truly depicts what it really means to be humble. Humility is not thinking less of ourselves, but thinking of ourselves less. Read that again, maybe even once more after that, really allowing it to sink in. Humility has nothing to do with getting rid of the beautiful identity that you have as a son or daughter of Christ, but instead reminds us that every person we interact with has that same identity.

Once you realize this, selflessness becomes a second nature. You see, humility is the core of selflessness, while pride is the core of selfishness. Once we follow in obedience of Philippians 2:3-4 in letting nothing be done to our own glory, we are able to look on the things of others instead of our own things, and this right here is how we unify the body of Christ. When we stop filling our schedule with what makes us feel good, and start filling it with opportunities to love and serve others, we naturally create a community that is taking care of one another. This is how we eliminate a culture of isolation, and naturally begin meeting each others’ needs in an act of love mirroring the God that we serve.

What does this look like?

This is great and all, but if we don’t break down what it practically looks like, we allow it to slip by and neglect actually implementing it into our life. Looking into practical application is what allows us to be doers of the word, and not just hearers.

“But be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves. For if any be a hearer of the word, and not a doer, he is like unto a man beholding his natural face in a glass: For he beholdeth himself, and goeth his way, and straightway forgetteth what manner of man he was. But whoso looketh into the perfect law of liberty, and continueth therein, he being not a forgetful hearer, but a doer of the work, this man shall be blessed in his deed.” (James 1:22-25)

While writing this, I became convicted of what I am doing in my own life to chase selflessness, and started compiling a list of things that I wanted to begin pursuing. This was a combination of ways that I can give of my time, money, energy, and effort to meet the needs of those around me. While this is in no way an exhaustive list, it is a practical way that I began to see God calling me to chase this in my own life. Use this as inspiration, and allow the Holy Spirit to convict your own heart to see where you are being called to a selfless life glorifying to God.

• Start spending my Saturday mornings taking friends out for coffee from my own pocket to check up on them

• Reach out to the girls I am mentoring and begin praying about consistent discipleship

• Learn ways that others in my life need specific prayer, and carve out intentional time to lift those needs up in prayer

• Become more consistent in giving of my time in volunteering throughout the community

• Lean back into writing cards for those around me, to use my gift of exhortation

Again, while my personal convictions aren’t necessarily yours, I encourage you to use this as a springboard. The Lord is building unique relationships in your life and giving you different platforms to invest in those people. Whether it is a friendship or a mentorship, you have been given chances to show these people the love of Jesus and to bring the body of Christ back to a selfish world.