I don’t even know where to start writing about patience, because I feel like I am the least qualified person on the planet to be talking about it. I can be patient if I’m waiting in a line for a few minutes, or if I’m about to get my food at a restaurant, but besides that, patience is definitely not my strong suit. It’s hard for me to be patient with others when they are struggling, and it’s even harder for me to be patient with myself as I learn and grow. Hopefully, writing this will help me to better understand what it is, and how to have good, Godly patience.
I think when the topic of patience is brought up, we imagine it as a much lesser form of what it is. That could mean something like assisting a peer that is struggling to understand a concept in class, or helping a teammate grow in their abilities if they’re not confident in the sport. Even though these are both good examples of being patient and showing patience to these people, I think that when it is brought up as a fruit of the Spirit, God meant it to be more than that. Patience is like an endurance test: it can’t just be for one day, one week, or a few months. Patience is something that must be constant and unwavering in order for it to be considered a righteous fruit. It cannot be dependent on your circumstances, your schedule, or your mood. If you are being patient with someone, it isn’t right of you to choose some days to be there for them, and other days snap at them because you “aren’t in the mood for them”. That isn’t loving them, because unconditional love can’t be something you pull out of your pocket every once in a while. The New Testament even says that “love is patient and kind” (1 Corinthians 13:4). Patience should be a learned lifestyle, and a natural reaction to things around you. If patience is the first thing to come from you when someone is struggling, you get the opportunity to show them God’s grace and really help them feel loved.
Patience with others and yourself
I think it’s important to recognize these two different types of patience: towards yourself and others. They are both super important, and have a big impact on the people around you. I believe that God calls us to practice both of these types of patience, so that we can be an example of Jesus Christ. “But I received mercy for this reason, that in me, as the foremost, Jesus Christ might display his perfect patience as an example to those who were to believe in him for eternal life.” (1 Timothy 1:16). People really notice when you are patient, not just with them, but also with yourself. Because patience is a way to show love, you are able to show the Gospel through that!
When being patient with others, what exactly does that look like? It doesn’t have to be anything big and public, but it must be something that you do all the time. The easiest example I can give is school, because that is something going on in my life at the moment. When I’m struggling to understand what is happening in one of my classes, my teachers are always patient with me as I ask questions and try to understand. This is because they see value in me and understand that it is worth putting effort into me so that I can improve in who I am. Because of this, I can be patient with my classmates and the other people around me. If there is a topic that I understand, and the people around me don’t, I should then reciprocate and be patient with them. Not only does it show that you believe that those people are worth putting effort into, but it also will increase in that. “Whoever is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who has a hasty temper exalts folly.” (Proverbs 14:29). Now, I am definitely not the best at that, because it is very easy for me to put my own needs and wants before others, but I am hoping to improve on this. Showing someone patience as they are struggling, whether it be academics, their faith, mental health, or any other obstacle in their life, will have such a beautiful impact on them. There is nothing better than knowing that you are loved and cared for, because then you know that you don’t have to carry your burden all by yourself. Showing patience to others can help them feel loved and valued, which in turn gives you the opportunity to be an example of Christ to them!
In addition, you have to be patient with yourself if you want to grow and mature in who God made you to be. I know very well what it is like to set unrealistic expectations for yourself, and then beat yourself up about it when you don’t meet those requirements. I have done this way too often in my past, and still struggle with it now. Even though it is important to set goals so that you can measure your progress and see how far you’ve come, if you set goals that you know can’t be reasonably reached, it will do more harm than good. Also, if you don’t meet a goal, even if it was a good, reasonable goal, you need to be careful with how you respond to that.
Being patient with yourself is important, because it is a reflection of how you view yourself. Your perception of yourself should be how God sees you: chosen (1 John 15:16), heirs (Romans 8:17), saved (Ephesians 2:8), and loved (John 3:16). When you fail to reach a goal or don’t see yourself where you want to be just yet, you need to be patient in understanding that progress will not always look the same. It depends on the person, the day, and your circumstances. What once was a realistic goal can change based on new things in your life, and it is okay to take it a little bit easier if that is all you can take that day. See yourself how God sees you, and you will understand that failing does not make you a failure: it makes you human.
This is great and all, but how does being patient with yourself show other people what a Christian should be like? People are always watching how you treat others, but they are also watching how you treat yourself. As a Christian, your identity should be placed in God and God alone, so if you don’t treat yourself as a loved child of the Father that has an eternity in heaven, people will notice. If you don’t see yourself with that worth, unbelievers are going to question whether or not God really has an effect on your life, and if He is worth all the trouble to get to know Him. This really can be a big deal to others that see how you treat yourself, so be cautious. Find your worth in Him so that you can show those you love that they are worth so much more than the way they see themselves.
Being patient with God
I definitely don’t feel like this is talked about enough, but patience with God is essential to our relationship with Him. A lack of patience is a lack of trust, so if you aren’t able to righteously endure a season of waiting or a hard period of time, it will show that you don’t truly see God the way that you say you see Him.
A lot of the time, when a Christian is going through a rough season, prayers will be lifted up to God to lift them out of their circumstances. This is wonderful, and I truly believe that lifting up your troubles to God in prayer will be a source of strength. However, you must be patient that your timing is not the Lord’s timing.
Think of a time in your life where you asked God to remove you from your circumstances. Maybe it was a person in your life that was really bringing you down, an environment that you felt uncomfortable in, or even a feeling that you weren’t able to push away on your own. You probably didn’t pray to God and say “I don’t like this, but I’ll stay here for a while longer so that you can teach me”. Of course not! We ask God to take this away from us as soon as possible, because we hate dealing with these things that pull us farther from a relationship with God and who we want to be.
A lot of the time, though, He will not immediately remove you from what you’re going through. Instead of directly taking you away from what is causing you pain and discomfort, He will guide you out of it while teaching you more about Him and the people around you. “Wait for the LORD; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the LORD!” (Psalm 27:14). I know waiting is so much easier said than done, but you need to be trusting in His timing if you want to grow. If you go to church on Sundays and praise that God is greater than anything and everything else, you need to trust that He knows exactly what He’s doing every other day of the week. A lot of the time, it will be hard to see it because your circumstances will be less than ideal, but that is where the trust comes in.
Be patient in God and trust that everything that is happening around you has a purpose. Maybe you won’t know what that purpose is for a long time, but if you try to rush your way out of a season of life instead of waiting for God to show you to where He wants you next, you’re going to miss out on so much!
Patience in Jesus’ return
I know I’ve talked about a lot of different types of patience in this post, but this one can be so crucial to understanding what our purpose here on earth is. In his book to the Philippians, Paul makes an excellent case for why we need to be patient in waiting for Jesus’s second coming.
“For I know that through your prayers and the help of the Spirit of Jesus Christ this will turn out for my deliverance, as it is my eager expectation and hope that I will not be at all ashamed, but that with full courage now as always Christ will be honored in my body, whether by life of by death. For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain. If I am to live in the flesh, that means fruitful labor for me. Yet which I shall choose I cannot tell. I am hard pressed between the two. My desire is to depart and be with Christ, for that is far better. But to remain in the flesh is more necessary on your account. Convinced of this, I know that I will remain and continue with you all, for your progress and joy in the faith, so that in me you may have ample cause to glory in Christ Jesus, because of my coming to you again.
Only let your manner of life be worthy of the gospel of Christ, so that whether I come and see you or am absent, I may hear of you that you are standing firm in one spirit, with one mind striving side by side for the faith of the gospel, and not frightened in anything by your opponents. This is a clear sign to them of their destruction, but of your salvation, and that from God. For it has been granted to you that for the sake of Christ you should not only believe in him but also suffer for his sake, engaged in the same conflict that you saw I had and now hear that I still have.” (Philippians 1:19-30).
I remember when I was little, I used to wonder why Christians weren’t all so excited to die. I mean, if you are saved, your death just means that you can go to heaven and spend an eternity with your Savior! I know it sounds a little silly, but it also makes sense. We spend our whole lives longing for a time where we don’t have to worry about sin or pain, and we can simply worship our King forever. This confused me for a long time, until I read this passage.
Even though heaven is going to be amazing, and we should all as believers be looking forward to this, we must be patient because we cannot leave this world until we have fulfilled God’s plan for us here on the earth. As Paul said, while we are still alive, we should be increasing in our own faith and spreading the advance of the Gospel to reach as many people as we can.
While you are patiently waiting for the time when you will be with Christ, though, you cannot forget your purpose for your time on Earth. We must all be vigilant in being bold in your faith and being a light to the World, as Christ did during his time on the earth. Patience is so hard, I know, but know that no matter where God is calling you to have patience, remember that there is a reason for why you are where you are. If God didn’t want you there, you wouldn’t be there. Trust in His perfect plan for your life and wait for the Lord to reveal His plans for you.
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