I’m sure you have all heard the phrase “comparison is the thief of joy”, and that could not be more true. Comparing your life and parts of it to that of other people is a common habit, and I would even argue that our world encourages it. Whether you are scrolling through your social media to see successful and fit influencers, or watching your friends and family work hard to achieve amazing things, we are constantly seeing what other people are doing, and seeing how we measure up to those standards. Today, I want to break this habit in our lives, and show you what you should really be comparing yourself to: the Bible.
Our Unique Nature
The whole root of our dangerous habit of comparison stems from the fact that we are all unique. When God created us, we were not an exact copy of everyone that came before us. Instead, we all have special physical features, skills, and personality traits that set us apart from each other. Because of this, we will not react to scenarios the same way others will, we will not have the same desires and goals as others, and we will not think the exact same way that other people do. This is a beautiful thing, but dangerous if we don’t remember how beautifully the Lord crafted us.
“For you formed my inward parts: you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.” (Psalm 139:13-16)
This passage is well-known, and I feel like I use it all the time, but that is because this passage gives us our identity. Because of God’s love and care for us, He made all of us intricately and beautifully. Nothing that is a part of you is something that is repulsive or unwanted to God. Your interests, your quirks, and your abilities were all given to you by the Lord for a good reason. Every person is made to glorify God with the unique skill sets and passions that He has given them. “As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God’s varied grace: whoever speaks, as one who speaks oracles of God; whoever serves, as one who serves by the strength that God supplies - in order that in everything God may be glorified through Jesus Christ.” (1 Peter 4:10-11). You were made to be a steward of God’s grace and love, and the Lord was gracious enough to give you a unique set of skills to help you do that.
Comparison Through Social Media
Oh, boy, where do I begin? Social media is a beautiful thing, but it can also be very harmful, depending on how you use it. I myself love using it to get inspiration and learn things to help improve my well-being. Whether it is gym tips, Bible study methods, or tips to prevent burnout, I love using it to learn and, let’s be honest, to be lazy some days (I won’t lie, I do love to just mindlessly scroll sometimes). However, social media can be harmful, and I can guarantee that we have all experienced this to some extent.
You see, the second we stop using this to gain information and inspiration, and start stacking ourselves up against the people we see, is when comparison turns something that can be used for good into a harmful tool. There are lots of things that we tend to use to compare ourselves with others: physical appearance, wealth, popularity, opportunities, and material items being some of the most popular examples. It is okay to be inspired by others, and to get helpful tips and advice from them, but don’t try to be somebody else. This is especially true with social media, because we are often presented with a false reality. All the influencers that you see are showing you their 1%: these are their finest moments and biggest accomplishments. While these are used to create motivation and inspire, it can be very discouraging. People show their 1%, and we automatically expect it to be our 100%.
My encouragement with social media is to take everything with caution: use those tips and advice, but think about who is on the other side of the screen. No matter who it is, I can guarantee that they are struggling with so much that you don’t know about. Just because a person’s struggles aren’t visible doesn’t mean that they don’t exist. Instead, take what is good, and add that on to the life mission you are to glorify God and share the Gospel. “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” (Romans 12:2)
My Story
I want to share a piece of my story with comparison, to show you my motivation for writing this, and to help you understand what it can look like in your own life.
For me, COVID came at the end of my eighth grade year, which meant that I had the officially most awkward transition from middle school to high school. During lockdown, I began going on runs, to give me something to do and a new skill to learn. I ran around my neighborhood, starting at one mile and working up to three miles. I didn’t know anything about distance running, except that the lower your time is, the better. I spent that summer going on runs and trying to beat my time from the previous time. For me, this was a pretty pivotal moment, and I was so proud of seeing my progress that I decided to join the high school’s distance team my freshman year to keep getting better.
Well, I quickly realized that I was an oddity, because all the other girls on the team had been training hard for years to run long distances, and I could only get myself up to three miles. I can distinctly remember the second day of practice, because we were running half-mile increments in a neighborhood. We were all given a partner to run with, and my partner ran without me the whole time. I don't blame her; I was so much slower than her. However, it was hard to see myself getting lapped over and over again. All that joy that I felt when I first started running all sucked away from me, and I cried the whole run back to the school.
That whole season, I was one of the slowest girls on the team, and my PR was nothing like that of the other girls. I have always been an athlete, and had gotten used to being good at anything physical, so this was a shock for me. That whole season, I struggled with being one of the slowest on the team, and understanding that I was not going to be as fast as these girls in the span of just a few months.
It took me a few years to realize that the reason that this track season was so difficult for me was not in the intense workouts, or the big time commitment. Instead, I was beating myself down by comparing myself to others. Firstly, I had vastly different circumstances from them, and had much less experience. In addition, I am a unique individual, and different from every other girl on the team, so it was unrealistic to envision myself being just like them. However, I stopped celebrating my own improvements and only focused on how I still wasn’t as good as any of the other girls.
In this scenario, comparison completely stole my joy, and it ruined my love for running. After that season was over, I didn’t run any sort of distance for about a year, because all I could think about was how I was failing if I didn’t keep running faster.
God made us all differently, and we are all running our own races (no pun intended). The only thing that you should be comparing yourself to is not other people, but it is your past self. Challenge yourself to continually grow and change for the better, and then you will for sure find success. Don’t try to fit into someone else’s lifestyle or path, but instead take time in prayer to ask God what His path for you is, and walk in obedience as you let the Lord lead you to where He wants you to go.
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